LIFE@30

my wife says i should grow up

but a mango drink commercial message asks why grow up?

mind you my wife works in advertising.

she cant say i don't take her seriously?

anyways i have reached 30 and almost about to complete it in the next few months

changes : marriage, responsibilities, finance(less said the better), relationships, work (90% of the time) and at times a moment or too with cricket!

often people asks how are you?

question is how should i be?

my ways are not always applicable

Friends are like those tiny specs of lights that you see pass by through a late night train journey

bottomline u gather some patience; a little on your tummy(though measurements talk differently) and realise you don't fit in certain situations and dresses

your way of talking is of a different space

your kind of music now slowly getting into the retro mode; my music manager has termed it recurrent

and the style icons, idols have mostly retired or have become hall of famers

you are often referred as kaku and mamas (a maternal aunt in Bengali)

life at 30 is having a little control over your drinks ; words (a lot); your emotions at times and being politically correct (substituting maturity)

a lot of planning (personally its still living life as it comes)

and as i type down these words i realise duality in my mind stays hence so many bracketed disclaimers

but few things remain the same: your belief in love; your fun loving side(not the wild ones); knowing how it feels to be 20 and more; and the love for life and to find out the best way of expressing yourselves!

30 - as per a batsman it is the number where you should be settled and look forward to create bigger score

30 - for a driver it is the worst speed you can drive in but in kolkata that's the average speed in those parts of the city where you really don't want to go

30 - is life that threshold where your twenties have just gone by and there is a lil hangover of the same on you though you are slowly and surely getting into maturing

30 human years - here is to you on a Saturday ; coz weekends were never so important and sorted after!

the next decade is the time where you might not repeat the mistakes you had done in the last one and when it comes to relationship it is better you don't have too many changes (you know what i mean)

30 - i love you!

jamai shosthi - son in law the sixth

the title might sound like a sequel to son in law the first.

but actually its this very interesting custom followed amongst bengali mother in laws where they pamper, feed, gift their son in laws - all in a day!

jamai - is not a shortcut for jamaica!

and the theme song for this ritual is not jamaican fairlwell!

jamais do fair well in this custom but all depends which model are they.
as in a brand new one or the one people often mistakes as the son.

brand new ones are less on talking and show some restriction in movements except a constant bowing down to elders to touch their feet and being introduced to whole new faces. they get the same reaction from the people they meet - biyete dekhechilam ..tarpor ei kotah holo (i last saw you int eh marriage ceremony...and now we get to talk) . with a sheepish smile he escapes all these and makes his way to the plate and the platter.

advice for new ones, do avoid second helpings as the options are too many !

advice for old ones, you know what to avoid already!

then there are gifts! from both the sides. often getting restricted to clothes! but innovations are always welcome!

for this one day, your mother in law , if she is the kind, restricts her daughter from interfering
and its like the husbands (WOW) becomes really important !
the rest of the 364 days its always the othe rway round (ya ya we know)!

though the recent trend is trying out the special jamai shoshthi menu at the new bengali restaurant and then there are after work dinners if you can really manage it at all! but the new ones should avoid this totally and ideally take the day off from work to avoid the most haunted dialogues a bengali husband listens to - amar ma bollei tomar time hoina! (u never have tme when my mother ararnges something)! beware new jamais!

overall its a tradition that your dad, uncle, colleagues, friends, acquaintances, follow and you, if married, should! to avoid domestic disturbance, no co-operation , no control over remote during FIFA WC or other improtant stuff you need to watch, etc.

its basically - SON IN LAW day and a ritual where the mom in law wishes for better health and wishes for grandchildren from their son in law!

son in law the sixth or jamai shoshti is the one day where the inlaws are in very much!
and surprisingly the first bengali talkie was chirstened Jamai Shosti ....!!!! way back in 1931!
so the son in law added the dimension of sound to an otherwise silent era!

to put in today's bengali - jamai shosti maney heavy mosti!